The finished tale for the man in Chester....
A long time ago, in a place not so far from here there lived a troll, an ugly troll, an origami-flower eating troll.
"I'm hungry," growled the troll, "I'm gonna get myself some origami!"
So he stomped and he stomped and he stomped until he came to a green where he saw a little girl flying her kite.
"Gimme that!" growled the troll.
"Why?" asked the little girl. She was a brave little girl and not scared of growlers. Her mummy growled all the time. It was what she was used to.
"Because I am an origami-flower-eating troll and THAT is an origami flower."
"No it's not!" squealed the little girl clutching the kite close to her chest so the troll wouldn't grab it. "It's a KITE!"
"Well it LOOKS like origami, it SMELLS like origami, I expect it will TASTE like origami," and he tried to wrestle the kite from the little girls hands but before he could take a bite, the kite and the little girl where picked up by a gust of wind and carried to safety on the roof of the cathedral where the little girl looked down at the troll and poked out her tongue.
"Humph!" humphed the troll.
The troll stomped and he stomped and he stomped until he came to a beach where he saw a fabulous sandcastle with a windmill in the top.
"I'm gonna eat you up!" growled the troll to the windmill.
"Why?" came a voice from behind. It was the sandcastle-builder, a little boy called Bob.
"Because I am an origami-flower-eating troll and THAT is an origami flower." growled the troll, pointing to the windmill.
"No it's not!" replied Bob, grabbing the windmill from the top of the sandcastle before the troll could get his teeth into it, "It's a WINDMILL!"
"Well it LOOKS like origami, it SMELLS like origami, I expect it will TASTE like origami," and he tried to wrestle the windmill from the little boy's hands. But before he got the chance to take a bite, Bob's mother came over and reprimanded Bob for talking to strangers, grabbed him by the hand and marched him off for his lunch.
"Humph!" humphed the troll.
The troll stomped and he stomped and he stomped until he came to restaurant where a hardworking waitress was folding paper napkins ready for a buffet later that day. The troll sneaked up behind her...
"I'm gonna eat you up!" growled the troll to the napkins.
"Arrrggghhhh...w...w....w...why?" stuttered the waitress who was struggling to compose herself having never come face to face with a real troll before.
"Because I am an origami-flower-eating troll and THOSE are origami flowers." growled the troll, pointing to the napkins.
"N....n....no their not..." replied the waitress, "...they are bishops hats. It is a napkin-folding technique that I learnt today especially for the party tonight," and realising that the troll was threatening to destroy all her hard work she swiped the pile from under his nose and hid them behind her back.
"Well they LOOK like origami flowers, they SMELL like origami flowers, I expect they will TASTE like origami flowers," and he tried to dodge around the waitress. But the waitress was smarter than the troll and before he had a chance to make his move, she darted into the kitchen, locked the door and hid behind a rather startled sous chef.
"Humph!" humphed the troll and he stomped out of the restaurant and into the garden.
Unfortunately by this time the troll was so hungry and so despondent that he could search no more and he collapsed against a tree. Fortunately it was an apple tree and a rosy red apple was knocked from its branch and it bounced on the troll's head.
"Ooooh, what's this," asked the troll looking closely at his find. He stuffed it in his mouth. "Mmmmm, I like it!"
And from that day on, the origami-flower-eating troll became a rosy-apple-eating troll because apples are so much easier to find than origami flowers.
However, if you do happen to bump into this troll and you want to give him a little blast from the past, do send him to The Hub on the Green as we have plenty of origami flowers for him to feast upon and an apple tree near by if he prefers.
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